Tunnel Rat

Chapter 180: Sour Pickles

Gendifur was scowling and looking at samples her needles had taken from Tallsqueak using Arlothe’s Advanced Device for Looking at Small Things. "He probably should have died. Possibly his bone structure saved him, storing the excess elixir until it was needed. I don't recommend anyone ever drinking two doses, let alone six."

Old Healer had his own idea. "Multiple poisons could have done it. He was suffering from the venom of a Noble spider, then several doses of unknown lesser poisons from traps. Finally, after he drank the elixir, he was near a toxic pile of bones. All of that together could explain why he didn't dissolve into a puddle of goo."

Gendifur took another look at Tallsqueak's blood. "Yes, that probably the reason for it. I should have taken that into account." She carefully gathered up all of the samples and vials and put them in her bag.

Old Healer looked at the amazing device again. He wished he'd had one decades ago. "It was very nice of Professor Arlothe to give you this device." Gendifur packed that up as well, padding it carefully. "Oh, he didn't. But I'm sure he and Tallsqueak can make another. I have far too many uses for this to let it go back to a dusty laboratory."

The old rat laughed and nodded. "We'll. I'm off for a nap. I never had time for them before, and I'm going to get in a few each day until I'm caught up. Good luck with your patient. I'm sure he'll recover soon. Exhaustion, donating his blood and bones, and being hit in the head with a Mace of Armageddon can tire even a young warrior like him out. But his regeneration should bring him around soon." He wandered out of the room while Gendifur tended to Tallsqueaks wounds.

She hadn't told her grandfather all of her suspicions and probably never would. It would be rude for a healer to give away someone else's secrets, especially after what Tallsqueak had done for the Hollow.

Milo opened up his tired eyes and looked around. He was back in the infirmary, lying on a bed covered in soft blankets. He started to stand up, then thought better of it, laying his head back on a pile of pillows. The rooms stopped spinning, and the pain in his head was less. His skull was sour where Gangrene had hit him with his mace. The General had been a canny opponent, seeming to know where he was or able to anticipate his moves. He'd also been a monster! Milo had never expected him to live through the explosion. Those two mines were designed to sink ships! He'd been bleeding steadily, Milo had poisoned him twice, yet he still kept fighting. Thankfully Larry showed up at the end of the fight. He needed to do something very nice for Larry.

Gendifur was cleaning up the room, putting away medications, and folding up blankets. Several other people were helping her. Milo was the only person lying on a bed. The newly appointed Master Healer saw that he was awake and sat down by his bed, immediately taking his pulse. "You're better, but not good. No fight practice, no duels, and no playing surprise for a week. You need to let yourself recover. Take it easy, eat a lot, and don't eat any cheese that I don't give you."

Milo sighed heavily. He had enjoyed the taste of cheese the last couple of days. To his delight, Gendifur handed him a plate with three slices of bread and a chunk of Gouda. "That's your lunch. Be good, and I'll have another piece for you at dinner. That will be enough to keep your regeneration at maximum. And the fact that I'm giving you this much cheese should remind you how injured your body is."

Milo started to eat, and then the details of the last couple of days came into focus through the pounding of his head. "How is Bleusnout? Smiley? Gilad? The dwarves?"

Gendifur nodded and smiled. "All good. I had to treat one of the dwarves for alcohol poisoning, which she told me wasn't something that could happen to scavengers. There were some minor wounds to some of them, and many of Gilad's students were heavily injured and are recovering. The fight was mercifully quite fast, with many casualties on the other side. They focused on trying to kill Brutus, Gilad, and two of the heavily armored dwarven warriors. All of whom take a lot of killing. Larry showed up at the end and attacked from the rear of the fight. He knocked down two of them, and the rest begged for mercy and dropped their weapons."

"And Justin is feeling much better. Thank God he's feeling better and sleeping at the barracks. Larry and his new friends sat here half the day, watching over him. I heard every Hamster Huey story sixteen times." Milo could picture Larry sitting and telling stories.

"As to Bleusnout and Smiley, what I took from you saved them. It kept them alive for a day until the elixir could be used. Both are up and around, trying to get things back to normal." She looked down at the rings on her and Milo's hands. "New normal? Things changed. Bleusnout announced that Smiley is taking over as Cheese Master. Bleusnout wants just to make a little cheese and teach a class for the young whelps. He says he might even take a trip to Gouda Hollow to visit friends and trade recipes."

"What happened to Rifkin? He was the cause of a lot of this; what will happen to him?"

Gendifur snarled. "Something bad, I hope. But we may never know for sure. He got away. Chewed threw the ropes and crawled off with broken legs. His trail led out to the gathering fields and disappeared."

The day before...

In confusion after the battle, no one was paying attention to Rifkin as he lay on his bed quietly, recovering from his broken bones. He was tied to his bed, but he managed to saw through the rope with a small took kept in his sleeve. He used skulk and unnoticed to move to the shadows and crawl from the room slowly. Along the way, he stole what medicine he could to deaden the pain. He needed to get away. There was an area past the gathering fields where he could hide. A small cave where he had a stash of food and cheese just for such an emergency. He could make it that far, he was sure. He'd get to another Hollow and start rebuilding. He could pose as a wandering trader, bartering some of the recipes he had copied from Bleusnout's cookbooks.

He made it as far as the first field and the bushes that were growing there. Where had these come from? Fortuitous, he thought. No one would look for him under the thick bushes, and he could rest. While crawling through them, he realized they were jelly bean bushes. Some of them even had beans on them. They were all green. He had never had that color before, but all of them had beneficial effects. Maybe green would help heal his bones? By the time he reached the center of the bushes, he'd eaten a double handful. The taste was sour as vinegar, but he felt much better, and his legs no longer hurt.

In the center of the bushes was a cleared space with a strange magical effect hovering in the air. The rift sparked and sputtered, but he could see another place through it. Large fields of flowers and patches of forests showed in the limited view. The rift sparked and got smaller. Rifkin made a quick decision and dove through it. His passage disrupted the unstable rift further, and with a pop, it disappeared. He'd escaped!

A huge green hand wrapped around his tail and lifted him up. "I gots one, Granny! I gots one! Caught him on the first try!"

Rifkin grew ill as he swung back and forth. "Put me down, you idiot! I'm someone important!"

Greggy Gerkin took a look at Rifkin. "He's feisty, that's for sure. He looks sort of like Larry, but someone shrunk him. He smells nice, though"

Big Pickle got a better grip on the tail he was holding and held him up higher to look at him. "Can we keep him? He's already turning green!"

Granny put on her spectacles and looked. Sure enough, the little Larry-thing was turning green, and its hair was falling out. "Oh, that's a good sign. He likes his jelly beans green!"

She chuckled and pointed to the pickling vat. "Brush off the rest of his fur, Greggy, and have Big Pickle lock him in the vat until he's done. We need some new pickles in the gang, and he's as sour as they come."

Rifkin screamed and cursed as his fur was brushed off, and he was thrown into a vat of vinegar and dill. There was barely enough room at the top to catch his breath. Granny decided it was time to leave. "Let's get a move on. I'd hoped to catch a fairy coming through that hole, but this one will do. No sense in staying around and having Larry catch up with us. Big and Greggy nodded. That was smart. It was time to move on to another fairy town. This one was too dangerous with a Hero protecting it.

Big Pickle had a question. "What's his name, Granny? Huh? What's his name?"

Granny thought for a moment, then seeing the scowl on Rifkin's face, she knew. "Welcome to the family, Sour Pickle."