This Ascent to Divinity is Lewder Than Expected

3.06 – Item Testing

Despite knowing through the item description what would happen, the arrival of Zoey’s cock—transported through space—onto the white plate next to Fe had her eyes widening to a comical size. She stared, stunned, at the thing jutting in front of her.

Zoey’s skin tingled with the idea she was exposing herself to the curvy sheep-girl. Honestly, she was surprised by how turned on she was. After being in so many more perverted situations in the past several days, something as simple as whipping her equipment out shouldn’t have had her heart hammering. But it did.

Maybe it was that it didn’t relate to any ‘shard shenanigans’. There were no excuses to hide behind, not really. Delta’s segue of ‘item testing’ was blatantly a cover, something Delta had offered teasingly to Fe to give a feeble reasoning for Fe to not seem overly eager. By the expression on Fe’s face, she knew it as well as the two of them.

Delta grinned and cozied up to Fe, slipping an arm around her waist. The action produced a squeak, but only from surprise. Fe didn’t protest; she let Delta invade her personal space.

“Looks bigger, somehow, when it’s separated like that,” Delta said. “Doesn’t it?”

“It, um, certainly does.” Fe swallowed. “I can see what you mean by this artifact being a convenient find. It would help … hide things.” She shot a wide-eyed look at Zoey, and said, half-apologetically, “honestly, I thought you were doing something to make it more obvious, but you weren’t, were you? It’s just that big. How does it even fit in your pants?”

Fe’s eyes turned back to Zoey’s cock. Her brow scrunched down, her flustered demeanor draining to something more serious. “But such a strange effect. And powerful. Spatial dislocation, from a second advancement shard? Restricted to … genitalia … but nonetheless, unusual. Perplexing.”

She spoke with a nearly clinical tone, like Fe had fallen back into professionalism to save herself from embarrassment. She did seem overwhelmed. As much by Zoey’s partial nudity—and fourteen inch cock sticking into the air—as, it seemed, by Delta, and her closeness, the way she’d wrapped an arm around her waist and cozied up to her. Fe definitely didn’t seem unhappy about Delta’s quick advances. Just … overwhelmed.

“Go ahead,” Delta said, teasing Fe. “Work your magic. Experiment with it.”

Fe squeaked again, for no discernible reason. If Zoey had to guess, Delta’s hand had snuck down and done something Zoey hadn’t seen.

Fe shot a bashful look at Zoey, then stepped forward and peered down at the base of the linking plate.

She laughed once, as if at herself. “I realize we’re playing under a farce here,” she said. “But this really is so fascinating. Do you mind if I do test some things? It’s such a curious item.”

“Now, Fe,” Delta scolded. “You shouldn’t go around calling someone’s cock a ‘curious item’. People are sensitive about these things.”

Zoey gave Delta an amused look, then said to Fe, “Uh, yeah. Sure.” She was surprised Fe had come out and addressed the so-called ‘farce’ outright. Leave it to a scientist—because that was what Fe was, more or less—to let the erotic scenario she was flustered by to be sidelined by her inquisitive nature.

“The obvious first question,” Fe said, “is what would happen if we looped it back. As in, I took the … the …”

“Her cock,” Delta suggested.

The flush returned. “If I took your cock,” Fe said, tripping over the word, “and fed it back into the panties’ original portal. The opening seemed larger, there, so it would fit. But what would happen? There wouldn’t be space on the exit for a second transportation.”

Zoey considered it. Her brain started to hurt. “Nothing that risks cock-vaporization, please.”

“Cock vaporization?” Delta asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“I mean. Yeah. Who knows what would happen?”

“My intuition says it would refuse access,” Fe said. “Act as a physical wall, perhaps, or a repulsive field that grows in strength. But I suppose it’s not worth field-testing. I can run analyses to find answers without risking … risking  …”

“Her cock,” Delta suggested.

Fe didn’t blush, this time, only side-eyed Delta, lips turning up in. “Her cock,” she emphasized, not stuttering like the previous time, “suffering any undue damage.” She refocused on Zoey’s member. “But more than that, I wonder—is the transport two-way?”

Zoey blinked. “There’s no portal on the linking plate, so I’d figure not.”

Fe nodded. “I suspect so, but still try?”

Some awkward repositioning, and Zoey bumping her cock into smooth plate glass to little success, which had her feeling more than a bit silly, and they confirmed a ‘no’.

“Then my next question is, while active, can attached items transport back?” Fe cleared her throat. “Do you, um, mind?” She gestured at Zoey’s cock.

Zoey didn’t know exactly what she was asking, but she trusted Fe to not do anything crazy. “Go ahead.”

Tentatively—and with some of the blush that had settled returning—Fe reached out and wrapped cold, tentative fingers around Zoey’s cock. “Now, um, withdraw?”

“Pull out?”

“I want to see if my hand comes through. Perhaps skin-to-skin contact would allow it?”

“This is,” Delta said, “a lot less sexy than I was hoping.”

“Oh, we’ll get to that. I’m just curious about—“ Fe froze. Lost in her analytical mindset, the first part of what she’d said had slipped out without thought. She tripped over her words as she continued, pretending she hadn’t said anything. Zoey’s heart-rate picked up, again, at the implication ‘more’ would be coming. Doubly compromising, seeing how Fe’s hand was on her cock. Delta was right; for their circumstances, things hadn’t taken as lewd of a turn as Zoey would have expected. “—about how it functions. Like I said, it’s a fascinating piece of equipment.”

“A fascinating piece of equipment? It’s definitely that,” Delta said. “Oh, and the portal panties are pretty cool, too.”

Zoey shook her head at Delta, then, doing as told by Fe, she leaned back while pulling her panties down, awkwardly trying to get her cock out of the portal. It was a long, unwieldy thing to finagle out.

She only withdrew a few inches before her efforts were blocked.

“Mm,” Fe said. “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.” Her hand had jammed at the linking plate. “Though …” She let go of Zoey’s cock, then spat in her palm. She rubbed the slippery liquid into Zoey’s sensitive member, and Zoey gasped, softly, in surprise as much as at the sensation. “Try now?”

Zoey pulled out. Sure enough, Fe’s spit had come along for the trip. A small patch of her cock glistened in the light.

“So bodily fluids work,” Fe said, brow furrowing. “Arbitrary. So arbitrary. But I suppose artifacts are, as a whole. It’s why they’re so fascinating.” Her head tilted. “I wonder, is there a range distance? And would ink work—is any unobtrusive substance permitted? Does the effect function between realms? Shards? It could be used as an incredible long-distance communication tool, if so. If … an absurd one.”

“Way less sexier than I thought this’d be,” Delta repeated. “But honestly, kinda living for it. Nerd out. It is pretty cool.” She grinned at Fe. “Plus … and this is just my experience … but the nerdy girls are always the freakiest. So this is promising.”

Fe blushed, obviously not standing a chance under Delta’s proximity, and her teasing smirk.

Zoey was honestly a bit jealous at Delta’s confidence, how quickly she’d spotted that Fe would be okay with this, then how easily she’d acted on it.

While Delta had obviously intended to drag things back to the lewder starting point she’d set up, Zoey could wait a few more minutes. Though she definitely appreciated Delta’s … what, wing-manning? She was trying awfully hard to get Zoey’s cock wet, for her … Zoey was also as intrigued by this item as Fe. She’d gotten accustomed to magic in a small way after the time she’d spent in this world, but the novelty was hardly gone entirely.

“The question we really want answered,” Zoey said, “is whether I can put the linking plate in my inventory while active.”

“Oh,” Fe said. “Huh. I wonder. You haven’t tested it?”

Zoey raised her eyebrows.

“Safely,” Fe amended. “Not with your entire …”

“Cock,” Delta supplied for the third time.

“Not with your entire cock,” Fe said, shooting an exasperated look at the fox-girl whose arm was still around her waist. Delta gave her a sideways grin, which had even Zoey’s heart skipping a beat, and she wasn’t the one it’d been leveled at.

“I don’t think she wants to lose any part of it,” Delta said, for Zoey. “I realize she’s got plenty to spare, but still.”

Fe rolled her eyes. “I mean, less dangerous than that, even. Worst case could still be uncomfortable, and hurt, but you two are adventurers, aren’t you? Bunch up a bit of your foreskin and stick the tiniest bit through—then deposit the linking plate. Worst case, you take a health potion to clean up some minor tissue damage. Hardly anything at all—bit of blood, sure, but.” She shrugged.

But as adventurers, Zoey finished, she and Delta had obviously seen worse.

And Fe was right: it was a safe worst-case. Obviously the idea of having a tiny portion of her foreskin … severed … wasn’t the most thrilling of ideas, but with magical items like health potions, it was hardly something Zoey couldn’t get over. It would heal right back. And she might not be a real adventurer, but she’d seen more gore even yesterday, fighting through the shard, and against Not-Zoey.

“Huh,” Delta said. “Yeah, that makes sense. I guess we should’ve thought of that.”

“Trying to be clever about testing artifacts is usually a poor idea,” Fe said, “and bringing it to a specialist is a good standard to operate by. It’s easy to get yourself hurt, or have unforeseen complications cropping up. But in this case, I don’t think so. It’s a simple, straightforward test.”

“Should I do it?”

“I could run standard analysis,” Fe said. “I will be, anyway, I presume, since you’re hiring me. So there’s no need. But it would’ve been an effective field test, should you have needed to know.”

“Here’s a scientific question,” Delta announced loudly. “There’s a fourteen inch cock—that belongs to a girl—on your table, and you don’t have your mouth around it. What’s up with that?”

Fe paused. Her eyes turned to Delta, then Zoey, and she reddened until she was the color of a tomato.

“You know,” Fe said. “That is a rather salient question, isn’t it?”