Nexus Awakened (An Isekai LitRPG Gender Bender Story)

652. Corrupted, Shells, Realization and Unrealization

“Elysia was the safest option. At least she had the capacity to understand that I required the blade thereafter. She was the lesser evil of your Angels.  But your Angels thought otherwise. All that is left are the cinders of what I once used to protect the Garden.”

Lailah clasped at Michaela’s collar, drilling her eyes deep into her soul as she brought her face inches away.

“Let me ask you this, Creator – What did you accomplish whilst Elysia did all that she could to restore the thing that you failed? It is because of her that it eventually came to fruition. Even I, who died to her more times than I can count, recognize this. And yet you can only mope and blame her. Elysia was always remorseful. You couldn’t see that. No one could.”

Lailah was the only person from the Old World that immediately took to Elysia’s side, even though she was one of her largest victims in the Cycle. Michaela wore a sorrowful look. But before she could open her mouth to utter an apology, Lailah released her, her hair hiding her face.

“I had hoped that you at least would have remained the same. That way I would be able to remove you permanently. But you responded to my call for the first time. I have to wonder if that is a farse waiting to die out, or if it’s the beginning of a new you.”

“Watch me, Lailah. I will no longer sit back and wait for things to come. The Star that I once was has fizzled away.”

She turned her back to Michaela, unable to tell whether those words were the truth.

Michaela’s actions were the only way she could prove this. Until then, Lailah closed her heart to Michaela.

“Know this, Michaela. When a being can manipulate the Light of those lesser than themselves, and only seek to bring out their ‘perfect self’, then we have not even seen the worst of the possibilities. Were a malevolent being to have the same power as a God of Cognition, then something worse can be drawn out from the spark of Light we all carry.”

“… Is that why the Angels want to kill Elysia?” Frost asked, and she was immediately responded with:

“I believe so. But a Will can’t simply perish if the one it propagates from dies. Like how my Will, manifested as the cognitive prompts of Blessing of the Nexus, were well and alive before I had awakened in this world. We can only make conjectures in the dark. Now that I am here and conscious, I can begin feeding Nav much more reliable information and direct some other pawns of my own more efficiently.”

Lailah touched the faces of Frost, Nav and Jury once again, her fingers lingering on their cheeks as if wishing they could stay forever. She inhaled deeply with shut eyes and turned to the void.

“Do you think the Corruption is curse or a blessing in disguise? In a world where the Persona is constantly broken down, an empowered Ego can defend even that on top of the Self, like a worn mask. I believe that is what that Ber is. An Unrealized.”

Lailah explained the differences between those who were Corrupted, and those who came back from it. It made little sense to Frost. The concept of Self was just that, she believed.

But Lailah revealed that there were more components of this, with the Ego being the mediator of everything in attempt to harmonize with what was the Self…

… which still made zero sense.

“Ego’s relationship with the repressed, undeveloped thoughts is to slowly integrate them into itself. When they overflow and the Ego cannot regulate it, one becomes consumed by those thoughts that are incompatible with the Ego. Thereafter, the Persona that we show to the world morphs. Hence, the Corruption.”

This made sense, as they were aware that the extreme expression of emotions, usually negative, was what kickstarted a Corruption Event.

“Then you have those that rationalize it – who integrate these repressed thoughts, beliefs, undeveloped aspects into their Ego post Corruption, returning as forever changed. You call them the Realized. The ones called Ignis, Res, Snap, Aster and even Jury are examples.”

Like the Arbiter who brought the Arbiter’s Risk Classification, and Frost with the Amalgam’s Eye – Lailah, the Cradle of the Stars, brought forth an explanation for the different states of Corruption.

“Lastly, you have those whose Egos overpower that shadow of thought. Who suppress it and empower themselves. What is born is a mask that can be worn as the outward Persona. A reinforced Ego to defend the Self – the Unrealized. Ber falls into this category. Is it not strange how she is able to manifest stages of the Black Swan atop her own, whereas Ignis and Res are already integrated with their own Corruption?”

Lailah left them to digest this fruit of forbidden knowledge.

Everything she said was true, for Frost had seen them with her own two eyes.

Ignis integrated her anguish into herself, as did Res who chose to accept who she was, and that the colors of the world were not so bad after all – Realization.

Ber on the other hand, suppressed her repressed woes and chose to reinforce herself as a beautiful swan rather than to accept that she was an Ugly Duckling – Unrealization.

It was unclear how it worked for non-Corrupted Personas. But it granted them life, and seemed to fall into the first category, hence them being Realized. Knowing this now altered Frost’s perspective of the Corruption.

There was some good in it in the case of Ber, but it required so much pain to achieve. Returning from Corruption was a feat that required someone like Frost to intervene, or an extraordinary effort.

In the end, the Corruption was something unnatural. It benefited one person whilst it brought misery to many. But it was an avenue for a person to find power in this kind of world.

And that power was something that Elysia guided people to find in their darkest moments.

The reason?

< When we one day find Elysia >

< Or when one of us is on the brink of Corruption and enters an introspection with Elysia >

< Then please ask her why she Corrupts >

< I want to learn more about the person that tried to save our Captured Star >

< Elysia mourned for me when no one else did >

< She remembered me when all had forgotten >

< I wiped their memories. They still remember the old world. But nothing of I >

< That is why I do not believe she is inherently evil >

< Like a faraway star, we can only see the ghosts of what was, not what is >

< It is no different for a Will >