Local Netizen Elf’s Life In Another World

Case 96: Parade and kisses.

*pack*

Dad facepalms.

''C'mon, it wasn't that bad... Right?'' I said awkwardly.

''Who told you to explode that thing in the sky?!''

''Eh... So it would be more cinematic...?''

''...What even is that??''

''Now, now. That's way better than my speech back in the day already.'' Bald Saint injected. ''You did a good job, lass.''

''He's right.'' Fox Saint added.

''Hah~... Fine.'' Dad sighed. ''Let's just move on.''

''Yes...!''

Now I don't need to threaten him anymore.

''How long will the parade last, by the way?'' Liana asked.

''Approximately three hours, my lady.'' William answered.

'''' ... ''''

Three hours...? Are we going through the multiverse or something...?

''Usually, we, the imperial family would go first, and then Your Holinesses would start to follow along after an hour or so, but since my brother is not here anymore...''

I see. And Your Holinesses? These old dudes are coming too, huh. 

...It's really awkward seeing Stephen here like this after the date with Tina the other day. He really enjoyed watching that garbage, huh...

Anyway.

''Do we need to do anything specifically?'' I turn to Archbishop Henry.

''No, Your Holiness, you and your companions just need to be present.''

''And we're going by cars, right?''

''Yes, for the convenience.''

That's good. Now we need to find something to do in those boring three hours...

----- 

''WOAHHH!''

''ALL HAIL SAINT SYLVIA!''

''SYLVIA! SYLVIA!''

Never mind, this is pretty lit.

''They really do like you, huh.'' Liana said.

''Mhm...'' I ponder, waving to the sea of excited people outside the car.

They do seem so. Probably because I killed that big fish, and they've been lacking in the Saint vitamin for a while.

Either way, the parade itself so far is pretty cool.

First, they showed off their Imperial Army with their newly invented muskets and some crude artillery. That lasted for a while.

Then came the cultural stuff, musicians, dancers,... Trying to impress the crowd.

I think there was a section where the heads of state greeted each other or something, but I honestly didn't pay much attention.

And now, paladins cladded in shiny armor are following us. The sight is pretty intimidating, admittedly. Just how many are there...?

But anyway, we're already halfway through this parade, but the cheering hasn't stopped. I'm starting to get a little headache here...

''Prrr...'' The cat on my lap purred.

...How is she able to sleep like this...?

-----

*gulp*

''...Please!'' Anna said, decisively picking one of the two cards left in my hands.

Immediately after she sees the card, her face crumbles.

I then pick a card on Liana's hand, and wow, how lucky, it's a 7, which I have another one right now. 

''Heh, Thanks for that.'' I said, throwing the pair down and smiling contently. ''Good game.''

''Mhgm...'' Liana grumbled.

''Ah... Now you two have to kiss regardless.'' Tina said.

We're now playing old maid in Tina's room.

Yeah, no. There's nothing to do until the banquet starts 2 hours later. We can't really train either, because it'll ruin our makeup, and we're not sitting through that again.

So we decided to do this instead, and with a little twist as well.

The two last people will have to kiss each other. With the losing one of the two being the one initiating.

Very calmly, Liana picks one card on Anna's hands.

''...I won.'' She said, throwing her pair down.

''Yay~ Kiss! Kiss!'' I said excitedly, patting the two's backs.

Shyly, Anna crawls over to Liana. She sits on Liana's lap and puts her hands on her partner's shoulder.

The poor cat girl shuts her eyes tight, pushing her face forward. Liana, in a very calm fashion, puts her hand behind Anna's neck and pulls her in.

*chu*

Lips pressed against lips. Eyes closed.

'''' ... ''''

After around 15 seconds, they pull away. Anna crawls back to her position as well.

''How was that?'' I asked.

''Not bad.'' Liana shrugged.

''Mhmm... A bit awkward, I think.'' Anna said bluntly, tracing her finger on her lips.

Eh... I was about to ask if they wanted to have actual sex... My condoms are still sitting in the space bag, so...

Oh well, I guess I can ask again in the future.

Or maybe I could ask Emy...? Would she be interested in breeding a cat girl? But I feel like she wouldn't like that idea too much...

There was once I asked if she just wanted children, but she replied right away that she only wanted my children. That was so sweet.

But regardless.

''Well, well, let's continue.''

----- 

''Please Sylvia. I beg you, please...'' Tina pleaded, struggling to pick a card of mine.

Understandable, since there's only me, her, and Liana left. And I don't think she wants to kiss Liana.

''Ei!''

Tut, tut, tut. Unfortunate for you.

''Agh...!''

I pick one of Liana's cards again, and voila! I can finish now! 

So I throw my last pair down, causing both of them to frown in disgust.

I'm actually excited to see them kiss. I remember I read a manga once, where there are two office ladies who are just fighting each other constantly, and I meant actual fighting, but somehow they still have sex afterward...? I don't know what the hell was that, but it was interesting.

Oh, it seems like Tina lost.

''S-Sylvia... Can I not do this...?''

''Me too, Sylvie.''

''Nope. You all agreed to this. No back down.'' I said firmly.

''Tch...'' Liana clicked her tongue, but still opens her arms.

Tina shakily crawls over, her face looking at Liana contorts. This time, they don't even bother to touch each other at all.

*chu*

An extremely brief kiss happens.

Both of them separate almost instantly, putting their hands on their lips, frowning.

These two are not getting along at all. I hope their children won't be the same...

''Next one!''

----- 

''Ugh...''

Welp, I have to kiss this round.

But at least I'm not like Liana, who has lost three times in a row, lol.

''Come at me anytime.'' I said, opening my arms wide for her.

I mean, none of these are considered a punishment for me at all. It's just kissing my lovers, what could go wron-

*chup*

In an instant, Liana moves with superhuman speed and pins me down, pressing her lips onto mine and thrusting her tongue in violently.

''Mhmp!... *slurp*...*slurp*...''

''Oh.''

''...Eh?! Wait, Sylvia...''

''Sylvia... You're really not wearing underwear...?!''

Fuck, my illusion broke... It's all Liana's fault.

Hearing that, Liana pulls away from our kiss, licking her lips while grinning.

''You Saint whore...'' She runs her hand down my belly.

''Wait! Don't start making out now?!'' I quickly interrupted her, grabbing the naughty hand.

''It's your fault for purposely not wearing panties. You're clearly trying to seduce us.'' She said. ''And don't tell me that we have to fight today. Where's the time?''

'''' ... ''''

''...I-I really can't afford to ruin the makeup...'' I look up at her frowning face.

Skill: Puppy eyes!

''We won't touch your face. Right?'' She said, turning to the other three.

'''' Um. ''''

I really don't believe it.

''But the sweat... Let's hold it until tonight...?'' I fake a few drops of tears in my eyes.

''...Tch, fine.''

''That's decided then. Let's keep playing.'' I said, pushing Liana aside and sitting up like nothing had happened.

'''' ... ''''

What?