I'm a Walking Disaster With My Unwanted Virginity

Well, whatever, I picked up the bowl and tried the soup. It had meat in it and no broccoli, yam or celery. It tasted wonderful. 

"Master!"

And the naked girl came crying over and grabbed me from my right: she was dripping from head to toe. "She dropped me in the middle of the ocean." She sniffed. 

'You don't say.'

It was hard to conjure up a surprised face when I knew this was going to happen either, way. I didn't feel anything, in particular, seeing that dripping body either. Though my little buddy begged to differ. 

I tried to chuckle and drank more and more of the soup. "Wait, you can teleport?" Still smiling. 

The fact that she showed up out of nowhere wasn't that surprising either. I had a girlfriend who could do that- so yeah, definitely not something I was surprised about anymore. 

"No." Her voice was small. "But my love always brings me to you, no matter how far away." Again, she squeezed her legs and moved her body in weird ways. "It only works one way though."

I guess she could teleport near the saber no matter how far she went. 

"So- the other day-" And Marg came in, saw the naked girl- Enira, and stopped. She sighed. She didn't have a single bit of remorse as a murderer. "I guess unless I destroy that core-" Yeah, no remorse at all. And she already had other ideas. 

Enira grabbed onto me tighter and her eyes sparkled. She was getting my bandages wet. 

Sigh. 

Yeah, I wanted to get out of all this. 

I took out my saber and put it to my right. "You can take her back and give her some clothes, but please don't kill her. I still have to use this saber and we can discuss this after I'm out of the nurse's office? Okay, with you?"

Marg looked at me, a bit disappointed. "Fine."

Just how badly did she want to kill this girl?

Enira smiled and moved closer to Marg. And just how optimistic and shameless was this girl?

"Nice soup by the way." Yeah, it was heavenly- definitely better than that atrocity mom hand feeds me every time I get sick- the world-ending broccoli soup full of celery and yams. 

"Glad you liked it."

We both smiled, the new girl frowned and now they were gone. 

Finally, a bit of peace. 

I continued eating, finished and a moment later realized- 'Wait, I can move my body just fine!'

I almost felt stupid for not realizing that soon. 

I checked my body and everything was gone! The wounds that is. 

Every single one of them. 

I was in peak health. 

I tried removing the bandages and sure enough, I didn't even have a scar. 

'How the hell is this possible?'

But more importantly, Marg had a scar, meaning, she was going to be very jealous that I didn't have anything.

What the hell was I even thinking?

Sigh. 

I kept on undoing all the bandages and after a while, I was shirtless and my pant had holes in it. At least I was wearing underwear. 'Better buy new ones I guess.'

I had some muscles and my four-pack had finally evolved to six. 'Dashing, if I do say so myself.' I nodded, totally satisfied. 

"Wow." Someone rolled their tongues a bit too much. I turned back and the nurse had entered, silently. "Not bad."

Yeah, I didn't need that compliment from a middle-aged lady. She was good-looking for her age though. 

"Do you have a shirt?" I asked. I couldn't just run around like this anyway. 

"Oh, you want me to take off my clothes?"

How the hell did she get me wrong?

"No." I tried to smile. "Do you have a spare shirt?" I tried to smile harder. 

The nurse first giggled and then chuckled. "Of course not. Why would my clothes fit you or are you into dressing up as girls?" Did she hit her head or something? And what was with that smirk? "You're also fully healed?" She could tell that from a few meters away too? Her smirk intensified. "Come here, let me run some tests." 

The way she said it, very misleading.

"Yeah, I think I'll go now."

With that, I ran. 

For the first time in my life, I understood why my fellow students were so frigging jealous of me being in the nurse's office all the time while they couldn't. 

***

I was pleasantly surprised with my speed. I was a lot faster than before. My body moved fast and my wounds didn't hurt, oh wait, didn't have wounds in the first place. 

It put a smile on my face as I jogged my way to the dorm.

And then I realized, it was eight. 

Meaning, there were students coming out in flocks. 

And I was shirtless.

There were holes in my pants. 

'At least I have underwear, right?'

Right?

But it was strangely windy down there, as though- I did not dare to conjure up the thought. 

Sweat formed. 

But I still looked and a second later remembered, last night I might or might not have had leaked some drops and had to change. 

As sweat poured and girls from around and stared, I ran. I ran hard, I ran, I ran for freedom and I ran for a better future. Yeah, I ran faster than ever. 

"Outta the way!" I was probably faster than a bullet train.

Probably not. 

But I was definitely fast. 

I passed by the girls' dorm and saw loads of smirk. I really wished I didn't have to take this path, but there was no choice: if not this, then I had to take the longer path which would have taken at least ten minutes. 

This was the only way forward. 

And then a minute later, I finally reached the boys' dorm and after climbing to the third floor with all my strength, I wanted to die of fatigue. 

I panted rather loudly and found myself crawling on the floor drowning in my own sweat. I guess running half a kilometer at that speed and then climbing stairs was a bad idea. 

A very bad idea at that. Even fully healed, my stamina didn't last. 

I got stares but it didn't matter. I was already inside the dorm anyway. I took a breather for three minutes and then got up, and moved on the fourth floor- knocking on my door. 

The door opened a minute later. 

Merin popped his head out and gave me a smirk. "I know you want to flaunt your toned body but seriously?" 

"Unfortunately I don't have fetishes like you. Oh wait, you can't flaunt even if you want to."

And then he started spending all his days in his room, it wasn't going to be long before none of his clothes fit him anymore. 

"Yeah, very funny."

He let me in. 

I sat on my bed and finally, got some peace, still sweating. 

"You sure you don't want to change first?"

"I'll shower first." I needed one badly. 

"Good idea, you stink." So said the guy, who stank even more than me. 

"Thanks for reminding me." I sighed. 

***

By nine-thirty I was pretty much dressed. That cold shower with loads of soap and shampoo was worth it. 

Today was the last day of school for this week. I'd finally get a holiday tomorrow. I had this brilliant idea of asking Marg on a date: we'd spend the whole afternoon together- hang out, have dinner and then- ahhhh… yeah, flawless. Our first actual night together. Just thinking about the things we'd do… I couldn't stop my face from being a bit distorted with emotions. 

Seeing me grin, Merin also grinned. Just how the hell did the guy understand?

And just when I was about to open my mouth- my Holo rang.

A message. 

My poor almost cracked holo: I had to get this repaired I guess. It was a miracle it was still functioning. 

"We had a date today. Be by the gates by 4. Don't be late." My eyes twitched as I read through the message. 

It was Selene. And wait, wasn't it supposed to be next month at the end of the tourname-

Oh. 

There was also a second message. "Don't forget the coat, and if you do, you'll wear mine."

"Ah ha haha hahahah!" I started laughing, rather loudly. 

That freaking coat again! The moment I thought about it, I remembered the line 'made by girls for girls.'

And I only had bad memories of that coat. 

"There's a rumor about you having a massive junk and six-packs floating around campus, and it's trending too." Merin was reading an article in his holo. "Though these are just rumors made up by your fangirls so, the guys might hate you from now on even more."

  "AHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!"

"Did you break or something?" Merin asked, a bit concerned. He was definitely enjoying this. 

I just kept on laughing, I had no idea.