Femme Fatale: The King's Deadly Temptress

Chapter 258: Hoping She Could Feel The Unspoken Words

[Song Recommendation: "Ruin" by Shawn Mendes]

~And do ya? Do you remember how it felt?

'Cause I do. So listen to me, baby~

"I don't think that's a good idea." Katherine's voice was low and weak. She could barely look at Damien in the eye and now he's asking her to listen to him? If she does, she could break.

"I'm not going to ask you anything outrageous. The only request I have is for you to listen to me. At least, take what I need to say as something that you would think about and consider when you'd actually want to have a conversation with me in the future whenever that may be. So Will it be okay for you to listen?"

Katherine was struggling so hard. She didn't know if she was going to make it until he finishes whatever he needs to tell her. And the way his arms were around her didn't help her at all. She was so close to breaking down and he hadn't even started yet.

Amidst the baseball-sized lump in her throat, she swallowed and nodded her head. He instantly relaxed a little after her signal. Now it was his turn to swallow the lump in his throat.

Taking a deep breath, Damien started, "I Honestly, I don't know how to start or what to say. For the two months that you've been gone, I had envisioned and wished for this day to come. I rehearsed what I wanted to tell you a million times in my head but what I didn't expect was how painfully difficult it is to actually talk to you.

"You have no idea how miserably thankful I am that you could even stand or stay next to me. I've been debating with myself on how to approach you earlier but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't bring myself to appear in front of you not until I saw you leaving. Seeing you again breaks my heart, Katherine, because I know I couldn't call you 'mine' anymore. And I am foolish to hope there would even be an 'us' againdespite extremely wishing there would be."

Damien's grasp on her hand tightened a little, pulling her just a little closer to him as he fought the urge to just embrace her fully. "But I know it's impossible. I don't know how much you remember about your past or how you even recall that it was me that night. But I know that you're hurting and it pains me to know that I'm causing that to you and I can't even do anything about it."

Katherine felt like a dagger was jammed in her heart at the moment. She wanted to get out of thererun away and never look back. But how ironic was it that while she's hurting, the only thing that's actually soothing her at the moment was the feeling of him holding her.

She felt extremely helpless vulnerable and horrible.

Trying so hard but failing, tears started streaming down her cheeks. She had to turn her head to his shoulder to hide her face.Why was he doing this on the dance floor while so many people could see them? How cruel.

She took a step back. Her heart was getting heavier and it was getting harder to breathe. When she thought that he was going to pull her back to him, Damien took her hand and dragged her across the room until they reached the side doors. Her vision was slightly blurry but he guided her out carefully so she won't trip and fall. 

He looked for a place where they could be alone and the first thing he saw was an outdoor garden at the end of the hallway. He brought her towards it and only letting go of her hand reluctantly when they reached the gazebo, he was thankful that they were alone.

Damien was about to face her when Katherine stopped him by the shoulder, not letting him turn around to see her. "Talk. You can talk but stay like this. Please... I can't I can't face you," she said while his back was facing her.

Hearing her plea, Damien exhaled a sigh. His head hung low and the only thing feeding his determination was when he tried to reach for her hand and she didn't pull back.

After a long silence, he finally spoke again, "I am ashamed. Of me. Of my family. I wish I could turn back time and undo everything. I I'm having a hard time saying it, Katherine. I'm trying I'm trying so hard to tell you how sorry I am. Truly deeply sorry. But I know that no matter how many times I apologize, it won't ever bring your parents back."

He sniffed, wiping his cheek with the heel of his palm when he felt a tear roll down. Her hand slightly trembled in his grip and he knew that she was trying so hard not to break down.

"Which is why I don't think I could ask you to come back to me. Because that would be selfish. You must hate me right now, huh? I can't blame you though I hate me too."

Katherine wanted to protest and tell him she didn't hate him. But she couldn't bring herself to speak so she kept quiet and waited for him to continue.

"I don't know what you're doing now that you're back. This unusual and dangerous world that you're in, I'm guessing that has something to do with what your work was in the past. You're facing some really serious people, Katherine. With what happened today and what I witnessed with you and your friends, I know how horrible it can be. If you can't tell me what it is, I would understand but I really hope you would."

"All I'm asking" He breathed. "I'm begging Can you not push me away? Even if we can't go back to the way we were before, I just hope that you can allow me to do what I can to pay for my sins. I don't know how but I would spend the rest of my life doing that. I know it's difficult for you but please consider. Let me"

Katherine's forehead fell forward, resting on his warm, hard back. Her other hand clutching the edge of his coat. She promised herself not to cry when she would see him again but he was making it terribly difficult for her. Could she really do it? Could she really allow him to be around her when it hurt this badly?

"I'll think about it." 

Her whisper was barely audible but Damien held on to her words, hoping that she would let him. He knew that a lifetime wasn't going to be enough to do what he wanted for her and for himself but this was all that he could possibly do to show how remorseful he was.

And before she could even object, he spun around so fast, catching her in his arms and holding her tight. 

His heart quietly whispered three unspoken words that he didn't dare to say but hoping she could feel it anyway.