Chosen by Fate, Rejected by the Alpha

997 Chapter 182- Talia – What Did I Do? (VOLUME 5)

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Talia

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When I left my dad in that clinic, I knew that I had too much on my mind to sleep. I knew that I needed to process all of it or I wouldn’t be able to move on. He had almost died. Lex had almost died. And I had done things that I had never thought were possible before.

All of these things had just hit me all at once, the good and the bad. And frankly, they had left me feeling more than a little overwhelmed and confused. I wanted to think. I wanted to process my thoughts and emotions. And I wanted to talk to someone that might help me with it all.

Who, though? Who could I talk to? Who would understand what I was feeling? Who would help me figure this all out?

Initially, I had thought that the Gods, the ones that I had learned so much from, would help me. But they weren’t a good choice for this. Based on their reactions after I had killed Olorud, they would just be in awe of me and tell me that it was all fate and blah blah blah. I didn’t want to hear that. I didn’t want to be revered. I wanted help working all of this out.

I didn’t have a lot of close friends either. I couldn’t just call one of them up and talk about this whole thing. Even if I did have friends like that, there were two reasons why I couldn’t call them at the moment. One was the fact that it was after midnight. And two, we hadn’t told most of the surrounding supernatural population about the battle and what was happening, so I couldn’t exactly spill the beans on that.

I guess I could talk to my siblings. Well, Reagan and Rika at least. But they might not get it. And they might not understand what it is that had happened. I am not saying that they would have blamed me for anything or that they would make fun of me, but they hadn’t experienced anything like this. No one had, at least not to my knowledge. So, who exactly did that leave for me to talk to? Who should I talk to?

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I was heading back to my room, taking the long way to clear my head as I went. I wanted a shower as well. I was covered in blood from my dad. And I hadn’t had the time to shower before seeing him either, so I had the other muck and grime on me from the battle. The clothes that I was wearing were going straight into the trash when they came off. I didn’t want to keep them.

Standing in the shower, letting the steaming and almost burning hot water cascade onto me, tuning my pale skin a bright pink, I thought about who my options were. I was already clean. I had scrubbed every inch of myself three times after getting into the shower, and after a few minutes, I did it again just to be sure that I wasn’t still dirty. Right now, I was just letting the water relax me and sooth me. And warm me up, because I was inexplicably cold.

While I stood there, Angel popped into the room. She had gone from being nearly invisible to her full colored and beautiful self. She had been amazing today. And, thankfully, she had already cleaned herself up. There was no blood, dirt, or gore on her at all.

“Talia looks sad.” She flew in a little figure eight pattern as she watched me.

“I am sad. And I am confused. I need to talk to someone, Angel, but I don’t know who to talk to.” I never lied to Angel. There was no reason to. She was like an extension of me, a part of my soul or something. A piece of me that had existed before I was born and had found her way back to me while guiding my mom home from the underworld.

“Talia always talks to parents?”

“Dad is recovering, and it’s late. I can’t talk to them right now.”

“Talia talk to Angel?” She suggested, and that wasn’t a bad idea, I did often talk to her to work out my thoughts, but I wanted a more sophisticated conversation about all of this.

“I want to have someone that can help me. Someone to tell me what I need to do now.”

“Talia talk to Alexio?” She mentioned the one name that I had avoided. He had been hurt too. And I didn’t even know how he was doing right now. I was afraid to check on him. I was afraid that he would blame me for being hurt.

“I am afraid that he won’t want to see me.” I told her. “He was hurt earlier because of me.”

“Angel ask him then. Angel see if Alexio want talk to Talia too.” Before I could stop her, the little dragixie had disappeared. Dammit! She was going to make him come over here. And that meant that I needed to get out of the hot water.

I shut off the water, dried a little with the towel, but then decided that I was going to just use magic as I walked to my closet. I was fully dried by the time that I got to the clothes that I was intending on wearing. A set of pajamas that had long dark purple fleece pants and a short sleeve shirt that was lilac colored. I hadn’t even thought about the irony of these clothes until just now. How the colors were slowly starting to match everything about me.

On top of the pajamas I added a dark gray jacket, a pair of black socks, and fuzzy pink slippers. I was a jumble of colors, but I didn’t care. I wanted to be warm, and this made me feel warm.

I was walking out of the closet, pulling my hair back into a high ponytail, when there was a knock in my door.

“Talia?” It was Lex’s voice. “Are you alright?”

“Come in.” I told him calmly as I walked toward the sitting area in the corner. He would see me and join me over there.

I was in the reclining armchair when Lex walked over and sat on the loveseat facing me. He took up pretty much the entire thing since he was so much bigger than I was.

“Are you alright?” He asked the question again. “Angel said you were sad.”

“How are you, Lex?” I asked him, avoiding the question and turning it back on him.

“I will live. There is little pain left and I am feeling as strong as ever. But you did not answer my question.” He answered, but he didn’t let me escape doing the same thing.

“I am confused, Lex. I..I don’t really understand what it was that happened tonight.” I looked up and met his eyes now. He was looking the same as he always had. Nothing at all had changed about his appearance, so I guess he really was OK.

“I wasn’t awake until the end of the battle, Talia. Can you fill me in?” He looked a little off as he asked that. Perhaps he was angry about not being awake for the battle. Angry at me.

I told Lex everything. I told him about the scythe, but he had seen that. I told him about how I was feeling when my dad was hurt, and then when he was hurt. I was losing people close to me, and I didn’t want to let that happen. I told him what I did. How I called Angel to me and together we flew at Olorud. I told him how I pulled the Ancient One’s soul from its body and destroyed it. How that had caused them all to die.

All through the explanation, Lex just watched me and listened. He didn’t interrupt me. He didn’t look angry. He just listened. And that made me feel even more nervous. It wasn’t until I lapsed into silence and looked at him with worried eyes that he finally spoke.

“I think that the Gods were right, Talia. You are worthy to run the underworld. But I am guessing that you didn’t want to hear that.”

“No. I didn’t.” I shook my head. That wasn’t what I was confused about.

“I don’t know what you want to hear, Talia, but I know what I want to tell you. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, is thankful for you, whether they know it was you or not. They are thankful to the person that saved them. You think that the powers that you used were dark or evil. I can see that in your eyes. I don’t see it that way though. You helped people. You made sure that I was safe and alive. You sent your own familiar to look for and to save your father. You are not bad or evil or anything along those lines. The powers that you have might seem dark and sinister because they deal with things like souls and death, but that is just one way to view it. Life involves souls as well. Not to mention, Talia, that you need to remember something else, something important. It’s not the powers that you possess that makes you good or evil, it is what you choose to do with those powers that defines you. You are a good person, Talia. You care for people, you want to protect people, and that makes you a good person. You take on the roles that you do, dealing with departed souls, training to run the underworld, and protecting the lives of the people around you, and in my eyes all of that makes you a hero. You’re a wonderful person, Talia. And you need to remember that.”

“Lex…” I was feeling a little overwhelmed again, but in a different way. He had, whether he knew it or not, conquered all of my doubts and fears. And in the end, he had done what I needed. He had made me see what had happened in a positive way. No one died tonight. And that was because of me. “Thank you.” I finally managed to say more. I finally managed to get the words out of my mouth.

“You’re welcome, Talia.” He nodded at me with his face still calm. “I am your guard, I am the one that likely knows you the best, so I am the one to ask about these things if you need reassurance. Now, if you’re feeling better, I think that you should get some sleep. You have had a rough time of things, and you need your sleep.” He rose to his feet. “I will see you later.” I could tell that he was wanting sleep as well. He might have been asleep actually, when Angel went to find him. I instantly felt bad for having woken him up.

“Goodnight, Lex.” I waved at him and watched him leave the room, turning only to return the sentiment.

“Goodnight, Talia.” He shut the door behind him and that was that.

I really was tired. He hadn’t been wrong about that. And now that he was gone, I was feeling a lot more tired than I had before. I needed sleep, and a lot of it too. I had a feeling that I was going to crawl into my bed and sleep like the dead until noon. Or I had hoped that was what was going to happen. I didn’t even want to think about being awake before then.

I climbed into my big bed, still wearing my jacket and slippers, I was still cold. I pulled the cover up to my chin, curled into a ball, and drifted off to sleep almost instantly. And thankfully, for what felt like the first time in all of my life, I had no dreams whatsoever. I just went to sleep and slept until a quarter to nine in the morning. That was when someone was pounding on my door to wake me up. I was just thankful that, despite being woken up before I wanted to, I felt thoroughly rested and relaxed when I woke up. And I was no longer cold either.